Love, Inevitability, and My Scary Mind

I definitely don’t know much about love and relationships. I’ve had like one boyfriend in the span of most of my life. However I’m always the friend who is asked when someone is looking for relationship advice. In a way, I pity those who ask me, I haven’t really figured out what I’m talking about yet, so we’re both in the same boat. I also find that in most situations, I’m needing others’ advice before I’m taking my own. In this particular circumstance, the boy mentioned (who will remain nameless) has been closing me off. Though, we’ve just reached the breaking point where he has realized he’s doing this and has apologized, it scares me. I fear that one day he will shut me out completely and when this inevitably leads to a separation, I’ll be the one stuck wondering what else I could have done. Now, I’m the most realistic of people, don’t get me wrong. I roll my eyes at couples who say “I love you” to each other, because I see the obvious fact (i.e. that they’re 14). It makes me a little annoying to myself, honestly. I feel like I’m stuck in this endless mindset of not letting myself become emotionally involved in anything because inevitably it will end. Which stinks, if we’re being honest. I feel like a part of my mind will always be guarded no matter who it is. Though this blog post doesn’t really serve a purpose other than to give whoever is reading this an update on my life and how not great I am at relationships, It’s out in the world now. Hope that’s alright with everyone. Hopefully, I become better at this.

 

AC

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